I Will Never Forget You
by rock.an9el
Summary: Saeki x Heroine Fan fiction. I suck at writing summaries, so if you're interested, why don't you just read it? :)


Another fan fiction be me! I should really start writing about something else, not just the TMGS guys XD Though, I have a feeling this is not one of my finest work, I hope you will like this! I hope I didn't make Saeki too girly in the end there. ^^;;

Please review! :)

**I WILL NEVER FORGET YOU**

My time was up. The days in which I could lie to myself and her are gone. I needed to face the harsh truth- it's over. And I can't change it.

I called her to meet me at the beach. She sounded worried when she heard my voice, but she agreed to meet me. She was always so caring… Always seeing through my mask. Seeing me. And now I have to hurt her.

I waited for her to come. It was freezing and the cold wind was messing up my hair. Usually my automatic reaction would be to try and keep it safe from the wind. But this time I just went with my hand through it. There were more important things I needed to take care of than my looks.

Unconsciously I smiled. I remembered how she teased me on one of our dates when she saw me fixing it looking at the stores' window. I don't know why I was so defensive about it. Maybe because it made her smile more and more. And her smile made me warm inside…

I kept thinking about her and the time I spent with her. I couldn't believe I've managed to convince myself that I would be good for her. That I was worthy of her and actually could make her happy. Ever since I met her as a child… I knew I was going to spend my life with her. But I guess I was wrong all along.

I noticed her walking in the distance. Her short hair waving in the wind like sea waves, her tight jeans showing her figure… How does she manage to look so beautiful even on a day like this?

- Hi! - She greeted me with a smile while squeezing her jacket tightly around her. She was cold. My natural reaction would normally be holding her until she gets warm. But I couldn't do it.

- Why did you call me here, Teru? I'm frikin' freezing here because of you! - She laughed. Her eyes were sparkling. I wanted to smile back so much… but I sustained myself. I had to keep my cold gaze and attitude If I wanted to get this done properly.

- Is something wrong? Are you okay? Tell me, you know you can trust me. - She came closer and put a hand on my shoulder like every time she saw there was something wrong. Her thumb accidently caressed my neck, what made my body shake. Her hands were cold. I bit my lip because it was getting really hard to stay away from her.

A small voice in my head was cursing me for doing this. _Hold her. Make her warm, you idiot!_ That thought was going through my mind all the time.

I can't do it! I can't… I've practiced my speech for hours and days, but now that she's in front of me… I just cant.

I looked away. Her eyes were distracting me too much. I focused on the sea. It's was more gray than blue because of the weather. I missed the reflection of gold sun rays bathing on it. So it looked pretty much how I felt - uneasy and cold.

I took a deep sigh. I need to do this, I thought to myself. Because this is the only way she will forget about me.

- We need to talk. - I said in a cold voice. She pulled back her hand.

- Okay. What do you want to talk about?

- Shanshongo… It is closing down.

- What? Why? - She asked with a sad voice.

- Because I'm leaving. This week I'm going back to live with my parents. - It took her a minute to process that information.

- B-but what about school? There are still three months left! And… and you can't just leave! Why didn't you tell me this sooner? - I closed my eyes for a moment trying to get some strength and courage in me. I turned around and looked her in the eyes. They were starting to fill with tears…

- Because I don't care about you. All this time we were together… was meaningless. - It wasn't meaningless, my inner voice kept repeating. A tear fell down her cheek. I wanted to wipe it off and tell her everything's gonna be ok.

- Don't…. don't you dare saying that! - Out of the blue, she yelled. Her eyes… face were shoving anger. Only she can have these mood swings that I will never understand. And I will never be able to try to figure them out.

- I'm sorry, but it's true. All this time you were my toy I used for fun. Nothing else.

- So all this time, you were strolling me along?! You didn't care about me not even the slightest?! - She yelled again. I couldn't keep looking at her anymore. Seeing her like that… seeing that I'm hurting her… I felt ashamed. I looked to the side, knowing that if I looked her in her eyes again, I would tell her the truth.

- Yes. I was strolling you along.

There was a painful moment of silence. I thought she was going to run, or scream again. Or cry.

Instead, she slapped me. With all of her strength. She probably left a handprint on my cheek, but I didn't care. I deserved it. But God, it hurt. How can a small girl like that slap so hard?!

- You are an idiot! You… you think I'm really that stupid?! Look at me! - I refused. My cheek was still burning and my shame was growing. I was silent, trying to keep my poker face.

- I said look at me! - She grabbed my face firmly, making it impossible for me to try avoiding her look. She was shaking probably with anger while her eyes were showing sadness and fierceness. I felt her warm breath on my cheeks. Her arousing smell was all around me. Made me her prisoner. All I wanted was to kiss her pale, gentle neck and hold her so firmly in my arms. Feel her body move against mine.

Widouth a thought in my mind, I grabbed her around her thighs, not wanting to let her go ever again. But now, I was angry too. Why, why won't she just accept it and leave me in my pain?!

- What's done is done! Can't you accept that?! Can't you accept that this was all a lie?! - Now _I_ yelled. She didn't even seem to notice how hard I was holding her. How much closer I wanted to be to her. She didn't notice my blush at all.

She frowned and came closer to my face. We were only inches away. I started shaking again because I couldn't take it much longer. Her long lashes, big warm eyes that reminded me of summer every time I looked at them were capturing my mind. I closed my eyes again.

- Then, I will go away and make this all over, if you look at me in the eyes and tell me. Tell me that you never cared about me. About us. Tell me! - Her voice was shaky and low.

- Tell me that this all was a lie once more. But this time, look me deep into my eyes. Look!

She was not going to let this go until I look at her. So I did. Seconds passed as I opened my eyes and looked into hers. All of my courage was gone in a second. My pride, my feelings, my life… nothing mattered anymore. Only her.

My breathing became faster as I tilted my head down and fell on my knees in front of her. The sand was wet. I wished I could just fall right through it. I wished it could just swallow me and make everyone forget about me.

- I care. I care about you. I- I can't stop thinking about you! - I sighed. - God, I'm such a weakling right now, aren't I?

Seconds slowly passed ad I waited for her answer.

- Yes. You are. You're also an idiot. - She sat on the sand in front of me. Her eyes were red-

- Do you know how much I practiced this? - I told her with an angry voice.

- Do you know how good I know you? You're an idiot! - She repeated her commentary, obviously still angry. - I can't believe you thought I wouldn't see through you.

- Well… you did slap me… so I guess you didn't see really well.

- I slapped you because you're an idiot. And a douche. You wanted to hurt me so you leaving me would be easier? !- Her voice got higher again.

- Idiot! - She buried her face in her palms. - You may think that because you act in front of other people, people don't know the true you. - She revealed her red face and shrugged her shoulders. - Actually, that might be true. But you don't act different around me. And I see that. I see the playful, childish, unpopular side of you. That's why I also see when you're lying to me. And for lying, you deserve a chop!

I was looking at her, but I didn't understand a thing. I didn't understand why she was still here. Any other normal girl would just… leave. Cry and leave. But not her. Why?

- I don't want to leave. I don't want to leave you.

- I know you don't. Why do you think I'm still here and you still didn't get your ass kicked? - It sounded like a joke, but she didn't smile. I think I should be happy that I really didn't get my ass kicked.

- You're special. To me. - I said it quietly. - And I… the only reason why I did this today was to get you as far away from me as possible. But… I couldn't go through it. - I sighed again.

- I'm not airheaded, you know… I get things. I get that you were trying to protect me. But I don't need protection. I need truth. Honesty. So I hope you've learned your lesion today. - She started squeezing her jacket again. This time I pulled her in my arms so I could warm her up. She was still angry at me, but she was cold too. I placed her head underneath my chin so I could enjoy in her smell even better.

- You know… you surprise me most of the time. I don't get you at all. And you punch like a man. - I smiled. I heard her chuckle.

- But… I'll come back for you. I promise you that. Because I can't leave you behind. - I said softly.

- And I can't live widouth you in my life. - She took the words out of my mouth the very second that I meant to say them. I gently stroked her hear. - I can't live widouth you in mine. - I whispered.


End file.
